|Satsang –||Volume 12, Number 13: December 9, 2009|
Your Individuality Is Infinity
Sameepta: … There is something in me which makes it very difficult to share directly and openly about where I feel separate and where my edges are, or where the challenges are. I want to get beyond that, so I want to ask your advice about what I should do from here on?
Swamiji: You are very independent, so far as the Knower is concerned. That which is called the mind is bound. The mind has so much power that it has caught you in its fold. So release the Knower and get its consultation. Listen to the voice of the Knower and it will work.
For the rest of it, you will be here for some time, so we’ll be talking again and again, and you will listen more. Today is not enough. It’s only this much, that you are free—so far as the Knower is concerned. And you are bound, so far as your learning faculty, the mind and intellect, is concerned. They are bound to act the way they are meant to function. The intellect has to have its knowledge and action together to say early in the morning, “I am this body.” And the mind has to think, contemplate, concentrate, and go back and forth to this and that, yes and no, yes and no. So two beings are there with this faculty of change.
Your I, which is your own Being in the body-form, was never there: it was all Purity. Ego was never there in a human being, it was all Pure Free Forever—Pure Consciousness, Pure Existence, Pure Bliss, whatever you call it. We call it Freedom. But when did this ego get built? We are now capable enough to know. The Pure Being—being pure forever, at all times, under all circumstances, even before time and space—that was the ego, that was the I, that was the Self.
Now that has no form to be known by a human being, for his faculties of the senses are limited in knowledge. They are externalized, and they are supposed to forget that which is internal, the inner Being. The intellect and mind is also one of the senses. The ego has nothing to do with obeying the mind or intellect. The ego only came when you woke up. You woke up because you have a body, and with a body, you are supposed to have something to guide it. So it was very natural for the ego to come. But where did it come from?
When a child was born, there was no ego with him. Then you can understand that either it must have been dormant, or it has come from somewhere. The mind, intellect and senses came from outside. The ego was there at a time when you were not born. The moment the body came into existence and the senses came as its instruments or equipment, then the body-form and that Pure Being-ego, that Self, the self-effulgent Self, that I, got together. …
Whenever the body-sense and the collective group of the senses developed, the mind and intellect was to be known by someone. That was your I, which was original. But the moment it came to the body, it became your I, the ego. The ego means that consciousness which is now imagining that he is in the body. He is in the body to say, “I am the body”—with the help of the intellect, which decides that “I am the body.” But I was never there in the hands of the intellect. The body was there, and the intellect and senses, they were all the body. But as soon as I began to dwell in the heart of you as Space, that became aakaar, the form, the ego-kaar [maker], ahankaar [I-maker, or ego]. And that became the ego centre of your individuality.
So now the ego-centred individuality is to be taken back to the Source. It became small, because the body was small, the eyes were small, everything was small. That very Being is called the Self. But a human being does not know what the Self is and he doesn’t want to have information regarding it. So first of all you have to hear about the nature of the Self. The Self is Pure Existence. And the mind and intellect speaks of existing as a body, as an existing dog, existing leaf, existing flower, existing bird. All individual units, all forms, are known as some object or subject. But that which is ego was never a subject, never an object, it was aham [I]. Yesterday, I called it Bliss. That I who has been Bliss has become mixed or blended with the body-senses and became “I am the body.” Although I is separate and the whole system of the body is separate, you are unable to sieve it.
In the waking state and in the dream state, you can understand all these things, forms, senses, yes and no. All the objects and knowledge, all the vrittis and thoughts continue in the waking state and in the dream state. But in deep sleep, there is nothing. That shows that your I is Pure Free Forever. But the moment all those things which belong to the mind, intellect and body, all the forms, all the waves, have been superimposed on I as it comes in the morning, this becomes a human being.
So you are not able to listen to your Knower. Because the Knower is only Knower. It has no knowledge and no ignorance. It is the Self. That is why it is said that the Self alone is. There is no division that God is and the world is, or the Knower is and world is, or the mind is and the world is. We say the Knower in order for you to listen, so that you can identify with the knowledge of your knower—which is your mind. So when I say, “The Knower,” you feel good, that “Yes, I will be able to know it.” The Knower has nothing to do with knowing. In deep sleep, the Knower is there, but it doesn’t worry about any pain or suffering, about any information or anything happening. That Knower is free.
When your intellect will be purified, you will be able to see the reflection of the Self or I, the Knower, as good as you see yourself in a clear mirror. If the mirror is clean, you can see your face; and if the mirror is not clean, you will not be able to see the reflection of your face. So that I is being hidden just because of your intellectual and mental awareness—the collection of all the things, forms and information, according to which you have to act. You superimpose on I all that which is intellectual and mental. Then the poor fellow is bound by it. And you are hitting him almost all the time, saying, “Your ego is bad. You are identified. You have a personality. You have individuality. Your ego is very bad. Look at him, he’s just into his ego, he’s saying this.”
You cannot do anything, because you have been so much suppressed and condemned. And the ego is the highest. The ego will never die, because it is prior to the world: before the world came into existence, the ego was there. So how is that that your ego is troublesome? The ego will never be an object of trouble or anything. It’s only when the body is born and the ego became part of your body and got blended with the things and forms. So the I plus all the senses became “I am the body.”
If you can now understand and know on the level of this egocentric personality that you were Space, that you are super Being, then you are free. For you only know that “I am this ‘duper’ being, this very lower being, just very small.” You are infinite: call it the greatest, or call it smaller than the smallest, super fine, either super fine or super great, it’s the same, which is ego. Now you can understand how every child has been condemned because of his I. So he says, “I’m in trouble. I’m not there, I’m here. I’m unable to act.” … You are not powerful enough, because you have been trained in such a way that you will die if you don’t do this, if you don’t do that, if you don’t do that. So everybody has been schooled. There is no chance for you to listen to the voice of the freedom that you are, that you are born free, you are forever free, you are Pure Free Forever.
As soon as you came in the lap of your mother, she made you a little child with relations. Somebody became your uncle, father, sister, brother, this and that. And you were never there. You were by your Self. Now how would it be possible for a being of mind and intellect to know that “I am free, and my ego is not the smallest reality, it is the super Being, like the sky”? This is the possibility even now. For you see that everybody wants to be great. Everybody wants to be free. Everybody wants to be undying. And that I say: you are already Pure Free Forever.
Since you have forgotten by being a body-born, now you have to become a developed human being and know that this is your imagination, that the I plus the intellect became imagination. That imagination was never there. But now the imagination says, “I am the body. I do things. I hear things. I know things. I love things. I hate this. I do this.” All the time, you become a doer. Whereas I is Pure Free Forever. It’s not bound anywhere. Thank you. [Applause] You have never heard this. You have been given a kind of status: Maintain your individuality. There is nothing wrong with it. But you should know what your individuality is. Your individuality is that Infinity. [Laughter] … I is that which has nothing to with the world. I watches the world. I sees the world. I makes the world. I runs the world. I does everything. That is I. But when it comes from my mouth, then they say, “His body is the I who he is referring to.” A dead man cannot say I. So you can understand who says I. …
Me is the heart of the world. The world came into existence because of Me. Even the sky came from Me. It means Me is bigger than the sky. Human beings can only understand earth and sky. After that, they can’t understand. But they have the possibility—on the level of the same ego-intellect-mind—where the ego knows that “I am higher than anything.” But instead it’s confined to the body. The body, mind, intellect and senses made him a superimposed entity, so that he should be parallel to these things; the eyes are seeing so I should say, “I am seeing,” the ears are hearing so I should say, “I am hearing.” I has nothing to do with this. Now, there is nobody like you who can understand. They just say, “How can I work if the I is not there?” I say, “I is the Whole, so why would you think that you are small?” But you are trained as a confined human being, so you say, “I am this here, this little thing.” If you can remove that, if you take the individuality as high as the creator of the sky and know “I am That,” then you are free. …
I was never there in the body. And I will never be in the body when the body will die. I has never come in the world. All the tsunami waves came on earth, but nothing happened to that I. So this I is immortal, it is blissful. I say, “I am Immortal, I am Blissful.” And you want to know this even on the first day. How can I do it? And you never tell me what you want to do. … What do you want?
Sameepta: I want to be free.
Swamiji: You are free, that’s all. You don’t have to take time. You are supposed to know. But you don’t listen, you will never listen. Still I keep shouting, “You are Pure Free Forever.” How do all of you sitting over here know, “I am Pure Free Forever”? But you don’t accept it. Somebody accepts it. There are many lions who live in cages. But some lion just uses his power, breaks through the cage, and goes out. …
In meditation, it is possible for you to refine your intellect—subtler, and subtler, and subtler, and subtlest. You reach there, as you have done. You say, Hum Hum Hum Hum Hum Hum. If you use the tongue, it will be a sound aloud. If you use the tongue quietly, it will be moving. If you use the mind, it will be locating it somewhere. So then just close your eyes and watch. There will be no sense of duality of any kind. Even if you see the sky with the eyes, there are stars. But here, there is not even a single star. It is all Pure Free Forever. How close this is to you; not close, it is the original Self. But it needs the sharpness of your intellect so that you can grasp that this is Me. It’s not behind your eyes, or in the middle of your mouth or stomach. It is the Whole. It is bigger than the sky, finer than the sky. Nothing can match with it which you know with your mind. It is only when you are quiet and you know that you exist. That’s all. I have not to say, “I exist.” Existence. …
It is Isness. It cannot be known by the mind or intellect. Isness is only Isness. It has knowledge in its womb, it has existence in its womb, it has bliss in its womb. So it is prior to Satchitaanand. In English, the word is Absolute—which for a human being has no meaning. He thinks he will not do meaningless work. So instead we say, “Bliss Consciousness, Existence Knowledge.” When they become Absolute, then he gets settled to examine. But when they become Absolute, he concludes it is nothing—because of the intellect.
So we as human beings have to have patience. Those among you who are inquisitive, that means you are a jigyaasu. A jigyaasu is the one who wants to be free from the birth and death idea. The birth idea is imagination, which now you can hear me saying, that you have not seen birth. Immediately, you’ll be convinced. You have never seen death. You are convinced. The one who is convinced is free from birth and death. Because the Self never becomes anything. And after becoming anything, it never changes and dies. It is Pure Free Forever. I’ll be quiet. … [Meditation]
Nobody can do it for you. No Guru on earth, no Sat Guru on earth, no God on earth can do it for you. It’s only you, about whom of course I say that you are Truth, you are Love, you are Pure Knowledge. Having heard this, it becomes hearing. Then, you have the mind. Your mind has to be capable enough to know that you have faith in what you have heard. Then you have to check it, examine it, do nidhidhyaasan, which means do constant meditation. It doesn’t matter for how many minutes, but the faculty is there. Meditation means where your intellect has stopped functioning, as it does in deep sleep. So you’re not supposed to use your intellect to recognize the Self. Whatever remains, that is what you are. Whenever I say the words, “You are,” you immediately become a name and form. So then I stop with, “Whatever remains.” … [Meditation continues]
The human life of a hundred years is like a drop on a leaf in the millennium. If you do not use it, it will be dried. Therefore, personally you have to be very cautious and come into that awareness which makes you think that this work is for you. …
When you open your eyes, you will see that you are much more full of life. You are at peace. At this moment, you are desireless: you don’t want to get married, you don’t want to have a friendship, you don’t want to have a relationship, you don’t want to have money, you don’t want to have any kind of meditation or no meditation. You are That. If you can recognize That, that is the main point. You can continue doing your saadhana … wherever you are, it doesn’t matter—whether you are in a forest, on a mountain, in the sea, on a ferry, in a car, in an airplane, just wherever you are. This is the only way, which I am emphasizing, because you are just Me, and I am compassionate for that, that you should not be wasting your time, you should utilize it. … Grace is that intelligence which makes you aware that “I am Pure Free Forever, Eternal Existence Consciousness and Bliss.” You can open your eyes. …This is the journey of a human being, which is meant for you to get evolved and unfold that power which is capable enough to realize “I am Pure Free Forever.” This will reduce all the burden your intellect-mind has done for you on your head. Amaram Hum Madhuram Hum. I never treat it that you have committed any mistake. … Whatever you have done up to this time is all perfect. Perfect is unending: it has no beginning and no end. That is why it is Perfect. … I appreciate your strength, power and one-pointedness. Help each other. Thank you very much. God bless you.
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